Inner Child Healing

 

    ANLP Member
    I am back!

This 6 weeks break allowed me to drop deeper into my grief and landed back in my heart. But to allow that; I needed to be still.  Stillness is something that I usually struggle with, I'm an Aries fire energy and Manifesting Generator always on the go creating multiple projects at the same time with high energy. I knew deep down if I chose to stay busy, the grief will eventually hunt me down and then I would be forced to stop. Grief totally zapped my life force. I felt constantly exhausted; emotionally and physically. 

My soul spoke to me clearly, it said “Take a break, be still, feel the pain, you are about to enter transformation.” But first, you have to feel the darkness, all aspects of it and then another layer of ego falls away: Your heart re-opens, you allow yourself to feel and be vulnerable. You may feel like you're crumbling BUT you are being Reborn!

I realised that I was contradicting myself; I was teaching others how to express their emotions and feelings and yet, there I was at the beginning of the grieving journey I didn't know how to express what I was feeling, how to even ask someone to just be there for me and listen so that I could let it all out. There are many lessons that I learnt in such a short space of time and still continuing.

I didn't know how I was going to deal with grief. I asked; will I ever be okay without her, I asked what my real purpose and mission is in this lifetime, I also questioned the way I parent, the way I am in my relationship, the way I show up.  I questioned my authenticity. Am I being truthful to myself?

For the first time I accepted and surrendered to the truth, it's okay not knowing, I need to grief and feel! It's okay to be lost sometimes, it's okay not to have your shit together. I don't need to have it all worked out.

We all fall to the floor at some point, it's how you pick yourself up that's the real challenge isn't it?

Continue;
    I am back! This 6 weeks break allowed me to drop deeper into my grief and landed back in my heart. But to allow that; I needed to be still.  Stillness is something that I usually struggle with, I'm an Aries fire energy and Manifesting Generator always on the go creating multiple projects at the same time with high energy. I knew deep down if I chose to stay busy, the grief will eventually hunt me down and then I would be forced to stop. Grief totally zapped my life force. I felt constantly exhausted; emotionally and physically. My soul spoke to me clearly, it said “Take a break, be still, feel the pain, you are about to enter transformation.” But first, you have to feel the darkness, all aspects of it and then another layer of ego falls away: Your heart re-opens, you allow yourself to feel and be vulnerable. You may feel like you're crumbling BUT you are being Reborn! I realised that I was contradicting myself; I was teaching others how to express their emotions and feelings and yet, there I was at the beginning of the grieving journey I didn't know how to express what I was feeling, how to even ask someone to just be there for me and listen so that I could let it all out. There are many lessons that I learnt in such a short space of time and still continuing. I didn't know how I was going to deal with grief. I asked; will I ever be okay without her, I asked what my real purpose and mission is in this lifetime, I also questioned the way I parent, the way I am in my relationship, the way I show up.  I questioned my authenticity. Am I being truthful to myself? For the first time I accepted and surrendered to the truth, it's okay not knowing, I need to grief and feel! It's okay to be lost sometimes, it's okay not to have your shit together. I don't need to have it all worked out. We all fall to the floor at some point, it's how you pick yourself up that's the real challenge isn't it? Continue;
    It's been a little while since I shared on here. What a beautiful day we had today . Summer vibes in the air. 

My heart felt little lighter today. My gorgeous  soul sister @natalie.oxygen thank you for spending time with me today. Love ya lots. ❤️❤️❤️

These past few weeks I have dropped even deeper into my own little cocoon. This state of grief that I'm in is still so unfamiliar, I don’t know myself in this way. I'm facing a lot of my own shadows, fears and different emotions . I think when we are faced with big events in life  i.e losing a loved one, loss of a job, end of a relationship etc... we are forced to stop and , feel absolutely everything if you choose to do so. I am choosing to deal with it all and it’s freaking hard. But we are mean to do hard things right? 

I’ve been reflecting on lots of things in my life and I asking myself deeper questions.

And so I’ve been called to surrender, to listen to my body, taking good care of my myself and rest. 

I know there is always a deeper meaning to everything. I might not know it right now and how will it change me,  but I'm sure it will reveal itself in time. 

 Anyway my lovelies, I'm taking this summer off from work, but I will be back in September. 
 
Please note; the event on the 25th July is still going ahead if you are interested I would love to see you there, link in my bio xx

To anyone who is processing grief I feel you and sending you healing. 

Love ya all ❤️❤️
#grief 
#takingbreak #reflecting #pause #learningacceptance #goeasyonyourself #validfeelings #griefisreal #itwillgeteasier
    It's been a little while since I shared on here. What a beautiful day we had today . Summer vibes in the air. My heart felt little lighter today. My gorgeous soul sister @natalie.oxygen thank you for spending time with me today. Love ya lots. ❤️❤️❤️ These past few weeks I have dropped even deeper into my own little cocoon. This state of grief that I'm in is still so unfamiliar, I don’t know myself in this way. I'm facing a lot of my own shadows, fears and different emotions . I think when we are faced with big events in life i.e losing a loved one, loss of a job, end of a relationship etc... we are forced to stop and , feel absolutely everything if you choose to do so. I am choosing to deal with it all and it’s freaking hard. But we are mean to do hard things right? I’ve been reflecting on lots of things in my life and I asking myself deeper questions. And so I’ve been called to surrender, to listen to my body, taking good care of my myself and rest. I know there is always a deeper meaning to everything. I might not know it right now and how will it change me, but I'm sure it will reveal itself in time. Anyway my lovelies, I'm taking this summer off from work, but I will be back in September. Please note; the event on the 25th July is still going ahead if you are interested I would love to see you there, link in my bio xx To anyone who is processing grief I feel you and sending you healing. Love ya all ❤️❤️ #grief #takingbreak #reflecting #pause #learningacceptance #goeasyonyourself #validfeelings #griefisreal #itwillgeteasier
    Grief
 
I didn't want to post this, but maybe someone is going through the same process. Please know that I feel your pain.
 
I’ve never experienced grief in my life, until now.
 
It’s been a week since you’ve gone.My body has begun to grief.  I feel physical pain in my body and emotional pain too. A rollercoaster of emotions are running through me uncontrollably. 

You were more than my grandma you were just like my mum, you’ve raised me up since I was 3 years old, cared for me so lovingly and never limited me in anything.
 
Grief is tiring, it will zap your energy. It makes you sad, lonely and I have anger in me. It's a pretty shitty process, but I teach other humans how to feel all emotions and I encourage them to process everything they feel in the right way, and so I am allowing myself fully to go through that process, I will not distract myself, I want to heal.
 
Grief is, I suppose love, lots of love that you feel in your heart but not able to express and pass it on to that person you love who is no longer here.
 
 
The song Halo 😇 is on repeat, I feel you so closely when it is on, gives me shivers but honestly, I feel that you are next to me. You never heard me singing, and in our home in Slovakia as I was there all alone, I was singing to you: “Could you hear me, grandma???” Do you remember when I used to go to musical school doing dancing and singing? You were so proud of me. I know you are proud of me for everything that I have achieved.
 
I feel our bond is even stronger now. You never knew how spiritual I am. I was always very shy to say to you that, I believe in energy, angels and the higher realms. I know you can see me now. 

 
They say after death a new life will be born or something new will come. I don’t know what that is yet, but I will be patient and wait for that beautiful light to appear. I’m sure it will all make sense to me then.
 
Continue;
    Grief   I didn't want to post this, but maybe someone is going through the same process. Please know that I feel your pain.   I’ve never experienced grief in my life, until now.   It’s been a week since you’ve gone.My body has begun to grief.  I feel physical pain in my body and emotional pain too. A rollercoaster of emotions are running through me uncontrollably. You were more than my grandma you were just like my mum, you’ve raised me up since I was 3 years old, cared for me so lovingly and never limited me in anything.   Grief is tiring, it will zap your energy. It makes you sad, lonely and I have anger in me. It's a pretty shitty process, but I teach other humans how to feel all emotions and I encourage them to process everything they feel in the right way, and so I am allowing myself fully to go through that process, I will not distract myself, I want to heal.   Grief is, I suppose love, lots of love that you feel in your heart but not able to express and pass it on to that person you love who is no longer here.     The song Halo 😇 is on repeat, I feel you so closely when it is on, gives me shivers but honestly, I feel that you are next to me. You never heard me singing, and in our home in Slovakia as I was there all alone, I was singing to you: “Could you hear me, grandma???” Do you remember when I used to go to musical school doing dancing and singing? You were so proud of me. I know you are proud of me for everything that I have achieved.   I feel our bond is even stronger now. You never knew how spiritual I am. I was always very shy to say to you that, I believe in energy, angels and the higher realms. I know you can see me now.   They say after death a new life will be born or something new will come. I don’t know what that is yet, but I will be patient and wait for that beautiful light to appear. I’m sure it will all make sense to me then.   Continue;